Tim Wildmon
AFA president
February 1996 – “Other people don’t live like this, they can’t!” is an exclamation often heard in our van or home whenever Alison and I are hit with a case of kidstration. (The word is derived from the English words kid meaning “child or young person” and frustration meaning “irritated, fed-up or ticked-off.” Kidstration attacks are often unpredictable and can happen at any time to any parent. (If you know parents who say they don’t experience this, they are lying.) It happens far too often for us.
Now, our household is made up of dad, 32 – that’s me; Alison, 31; Wriley, 8; Wesley, 6; and Walker, 2. We are a Christian family. We go to church, we pray, we read the Bible and Bible stories, and we talk openly about God and Jesus Christ. We talk often about loving one another and others.
At the same time, we may appear to be a pagan family. We argue, we raise our voices, we make faces and say things to provoke one another – none of which are spiritual gifts, as far as I can determine. Some among us even pull hair, wrestle, bite and exhibit other forms of less than exemplary behavior.
We are a self-professed family of hypocrites.
Why is this, I often wonder. Now, let me say while Alison and I do argue from time to time (And I forgive her every time – that’s just the kind of guy I am.), we don’t wrestle with – or bite – each other. She says I make faces, but I deny that charge. The bottom line is that – while less than perfect – we do love each other and demonstrate that love to the kids. But what is it that makes the kids misbehave, disobey and generally cause their parents to yell and turn red in the face?
The other day we were eating at the hamburger place and Wesley started telling me how Wriley had started the fight the night before at their grandparents’ house. She did this and she did that, which caused him to do this and to do that. And on and on and on we go. I’ve heard this story a thousand times. It’s never his fault.
By the way, when was the last time you heard a six-year-old at the dinner table say something like: “Mom and Dad, I want to say I’m sorry right here in front of the entire family. It was my anger, it was my mouth and it was my fist which caused the problem with my elder sister. I am taking full responsibility for my own actions and am prepared to take – like the man I am – the necessary discipline which you alone can determine is just, fair, and for my long-term societal well-being.”
A simple unsolicited, “Um, I’m sorry” would be refreshing.
The heart and soul of the Christian faith is love of God first, and from that flows a love for our fellow man (including our brothers and sisters). Our love is demonstrated by how we treat one another. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” is the Golden Rule of yesterday, today, tomorrow and forever.
One of the main responsibilities God gives parents is to bridle the passions of their children. The scripture says to “train up” a child in the fear and admonition of the Lord. The values that flow from love should be charity, kindness, gentleness, respect and reverence among others. All of these lead to civility which leads to a healthy society.
To a certain extent, kids will be kids, I suppose. For as long as there are minivans and station wagons, there will be cries of “Momma, he’s on my side of the line.” But at some point children must grow out of childish ways. They must learn to bridle their passions, will to love God and one another, and live out that love.
It’s the same way with adults who follow Christ. We must die to self and take up our cross and follow Him. Daily. Love our neighbor as ourselves. We need God to train us in His ways and we must be willing to yield to that training.
There’s a lot of yelling, screaming and fighting in the world today. We live in a very violent and, in many ways, barbaric society. And I don’t want to sound smug or trite here. But we who name the name above all names – the name of Jesus Christ – had better learn to live out our message of love and hope before the world around us, or things are going to get a whole lot colder, harsher and uncivil in these United States of America.
The only hope for America, the only hope for the world, is Jesus Christ. 
