Tim Wildmon

AFA president

June-July 2000 – I didn’t know why dad was picking me up so early in the morning. I had spent the night with my best friend Rusty Wilkinson and we always played the next day until at least the middle of the afternoon. But on this particular morning Rusty’s mom woke me and told me Dad was there to get me. So we drove the three minutes from Rusty’s house to ours. I don’t remember any conversation in the car. I was 10 at the time. When we entered the house Dad ushered me and my two younger sisters – Angela, 9, and Donna, 7 – into the bedroom. My younger brother Mark was still asleep. This was odd, I thought. Where is Momma? Dad had a troubled look on his face. He then began to speak and his voice began to crack. Dad then told us there had been a tragic automobile accident during the middle of the night and that Momma’s brother, our Uncle Hassel, had been killed. He was 21 years old. We cried.

That was 1973 and the first time in my young life that I remember feeling the impact of death. It was a horrible feeling. When you are a child, you think there is nothing grown-ups can’t fix. But when death comes, you learn differently.

Since that hot August afternoon nearly 27 years ago I’ve been to many more funerals. Young people – like my brother-in-law Russ at age 25 – and older people – like my Paw Paw Wildmon at age 91. People I barely knew and people I knew well. A lady named Joy from Florida called a few weeks after she and her husband Don had gone with me to the Holy Land in March. She called to say that Don has passed away of a heart attack at age 65.

Indeed, death comes to us all, sooner or later.

During warm weather, after the kids have all gone to bed, I like to go on my back patio which looks out over an open field. No houses, no roads. Just the blackness of night.

I go to sit, think and reflect. It helps to clear my head. As my thoughts wander here and there, invariably I have thoughts about the future. Wonder what I will be doing next year at this time. Will I have this house paid off by the time I’m 50? Got to get those letters out tomorrow at work. Wonder how long I’ll live. I’m already halfway to 74. Can’t believe the God that made all those stars cares about me. Big dipper is out again. Sure are a lot of people getting cancer. How long until we go back to Hilton Head so I can fish off the beach? Cardinals need another starting pitcher. Wonder if I’m doing this dad thing right. Got to get back to daily devotionals. Why can’t I fix the lawn mower? Why can’t I fix anything – other guys can. Maybe I need to write another book. You don’t have time to write right now. Yeah, I guess you’re right. What if I save all this 401k money and then die when I’m 60, what good is that? Why do all these crickets chirp like there’s no tomorrow? Got to meet with the staff Wednesday. Who created algebra? Where did that question come from? Wonder what it would be like to have no responsibilities, no deadlines, nobody depending on me. Is that selfish? Why do I sin? I want to obey God, but why don’t I? The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. Excuse maker. Maybe Cardinals can make a trade and get Randy Johnson from Arizona and win the World Series. Can’t wait for the next college football season. Hope the kids have healthy and happy lives. Still going to die one day. Would you quit thinking about dying so much and enjoy the fresh air? Anyway, Jesus will take care of me. Wonder what heaven is like. Wonder what you do with all that time. Don’t worry, be happy. Better go inside, it’s getting late. Just five more minutes. Five more minutes. Thank you, God, for today. Thank you, God, for Alison. If not for Alison, our family would fall apart. Thank you, God, for Wriley, Wesley, and Walker. Thank you, God, for life. Life is good, Lord. Good night, Tim. Oh yeah, still need to finish that little bit of ironing before bed.

Jesus said if we put our trust in him we don’t have to worry about our future. Why? Because we will not really die. We will just go on to a better place, a place called heaven and we will live forever.

I guess it’s only natural to think about what God has in store for us. And it seems only natural that we think about death from time to time since we’ll all end up there.

Jesus spoke these words to us 2,000 years ago to ease our minds and soothe our souls: “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

So don't worry, Tim. Trust Jesus.