Tim Wildmon
AFA president
April 2001 – As a boy I sometimes watched the evening news with my dad. The best I recall, Walter Cronkite was his choice. CBS Evening News. "And that's the way it is," Mr. Cronkite would close each day. Then The Beverly Hillbillies would come on.
One of the segments I found most curious during the evening news was when "Uncle Walter" would talk about a fellow named Dow Jones and his index. I didn't have an index. I just figured Dad was a preacher and preachers couldn't afford indexes for their children. One day Mr. Jones would be up and the next day he would be down. Up and down. Down and up. Very temperamental guy, this Mr. Jones, I thought, although I didn't even know what the word "temperamental" meant. All I knew was I sure was glad my Mom and Dad weren't like Mr. Jones. At age seven, a kid needs stability from his parents.
Now, some 30 years later, I know a little bit more about Dow Jones. And the stock market. At least I know what it is and how important it is to our economy.
At AFA, employees can participate in a 401K retirement/savings plan and invest in the stock market if we desire. I desired.
However, the last year has been unkind to all of us who have so desired. How unkind? I received the following letter recently:
Dear Mr. Wildmon:
We are your 401K account people. We wish to remain anonymous here because, quite frankly, we are too embarrassed by your performance the last year and wish not to be identified with you.
We have noticed over the last year that you have lost quite a bit of money here. Some people would call it a lot of money. Actually, you could have accomplished the same thing over the past year by going outside your office and burning the money. This would have saved us the trouble of having to keep a record on your loser account.
In fact, Mr. Wildmon, at the rate you are going, you will not have any money left in our account a year from now. If you can get a few more of those 100 point NASDAQ drops you've been experiencing with regularity the last year it might not even take you that long.
In case you didn't read the fine print when you enrolled in our "aggressive growth fund" we feel the need to tell you that you should actually feel good about this 50% loss over the past year because now you are "buying in low." That's right, you, we, are now "buying in low" to get you good deals for the future. However, as we have discussed above, you may not have a future if you continue in this free fall mode.
By the way, you will hear some say, "It will come back. Don't worry. Be happy." The only problem with that, Mr. Wildm--, (We have now borrowed two letters from your last name to keep your account open.) is that it doesn't look like you are going to have anything to "come back" with.
To be quite honest, here at the office we have a running bet to see just what month your puny account will totally dry up. Ha! Ha! (Got to have a little levity in times like these, Mr. Wild---. You understand. Don't Worry. Be happy.)
Anyway, in our desire to keep you informed about your 401K plan we have noticed that the NASDAQ is down 89 points today with not much time to go (in the day).
In our professional opinion, Mr. Wil----, what you need are two items to make your plan fit in where we think the market is headed. Sackcloth and ashes. That's right, Mr. Wil----, we're talking Old Testament stuff here. You might want to go ahead now and commence wailing and gnashing your teeth and see if you can get it over with before the next quarter's earnings reports come in. In short, Mr. W, your account is seriously spiraling downwards.
So enjoy watching what's left of your retirement, Mr. W. We feel your pain. Not. Ha! Ha! Sorry, Mr. W. We are not laughing at you, but rather with you. Assuming here that you are laughing to keep from crying.
Thank you for your time, Mr. W.
Keeping you our first priority, we remain, your 401K friends.
Seriously, folks, it's been said a million times over but it's worth repeating--we can't put our trust in the things of the world. Fame, fortune, education, intelligence or beauty--they can all disappear tomorrow like my 401K.
They tell me I'm young and it will bounce back. We'll see. But God Almighty is the only one we can trust in, now and for the future. I don't think St. Peter is going to meet me at that pearly gate and ask, "How's that 401K plan?"
If he does, I'll probably say, "Before I answer you, I need to ask you a question. Do you know whatever became of a Mr. Dow Jones? Poor fellow led a roller coaster life on Earth, let me tell you." 
