By Pat Centner, AFAJ staff writer

March 2003 – Nine-year-old Shelby Nowland loves his mommy and knows she’s always there for him. But when he comes out of the throes of an epileptic seizure, it’s his daddy he wants.

As she chokes back tears, Liz Nowland shares her concerns about how she will cope with Shelby’s seizures and a myriad of other matters she will be forced to handle alone once her husband is gone. Liz is a military wife, and her spouse, U.S. Army Chaplain (Captain) Aaron D. Nowland, is preparing to go overseas as one of the thousands of military personnel being deployed in preparation for a possible war with Iraq.

His name may be familiar, because Chaplain Nowland is the man who made it possible for more than 20,000 letters to be delivered this past year to troops overseas through AFA’s “Dear American Soldier” campaign. He and Liz live in Ft. Hood, Texas, with their three children: Shelby; five-year-old Abby; and two⁄-month-old Clayton. 

AFA Journal was privileged to talk recently with the Nowlands about the frightening prospect of being separated from each other by thousands of miles and, even more formidable, the grim possibility of war. 

Their comments revealed the conflicting emotions that are inevitable when a serviceman or woman, bound by duty and desire to serve country, is assigned to a post where family cannot go. And when the threat of war and actual involvement in battle are added to the equation, the anxiety and stress multiply dramatically.

On the one hand, Chaplain Nowland says he’s glad that the long wait to receive his orders has come to an end – that the ‘not knowing’ has taken a heavy emotional toll. But now that he knows, he’s stricken by the gut-wrenching reality that he must soon look into the eyes of his wife and three young children and tell them goodbye, and leave them behind. 

Likewise, says Liz, Shelby is proud of his daddy. He makes it a point to tell people that he’s going overseas to help defend our country. But then, when mother and son are alone, Shelby sometimes cries and tells Liz, “Mommy, I don’t want my daddy to die.” That raw underlying fear – the unthinkable fear that is seldom voiced – makes it extremely hard to face his going away, admits Liz. “But we trust in God and pray that He will keep Aaron safe.”

Although the chaplain admits that the hardest part for him will be leaving his family, his commitment to God and country are evident. Now 31 years old, Nowland first joined the Army as an enlisted man in 1988 when he was 171⁄2. He fought in the Gulf War, and has served in the Reserve ever since. In 1992, he married Liz and followed the call into full-time ministry through the Southern Baptist denomination. Over the next several years, he served as a youth pastor in several Southern states. He was pastoring in Skene, Mississippi, when he was called into active duty on September 5, 2001.

“Then September 11 happened,” reflects Liz, “and that changed everything.” 

Duty to country
As a chaplain, Nowland is classified under the Geneva Convention as a noncombatant. His duties involve assessing the soldiers’ spiritual needs and advising the battalion commander of such. He also keeps the commander informed of the religious culture in the country where they are assigned in order to assure that no blunders are made by military personnel stationed there. Of course, his primary responsibility is to minister to the soldiers and share the hope that comes in knowing Christ. Currently, he is responsible for two battalions, approximately 1,200 soldiers. 

“There has been a tremendous increase in the number of one-on-one witnessing opportunities I’ve had in the past year,” says Nowland. “I’ve talked to men out in the field, and I’ve shared Christ while sitting in a foxhole on training maneuvers. Many guys have come to me with personal problems, and I’ve had the chance to share my faith and my testimony.

 “Chaplains are also involved in the military decision-making process,” he continues. “We assess the risks attached to a particular troop movement and then decide where we should be – whether on the front lines, or back at the aid station.

“Any chaplain worth his salt goes where his troops go if he possibly can, because that’s where his ministry is. And yes, that involves risk. I don’t personally carry a weapon, but my driver does. It’s his duty to protect us if we become involved in a conflict.”

Incredibly, Liz says there are people who, upon finding out her husband is a chaplain, have told her, “Oh, they (enemies) aim for that cross (on the helmet). They know a chaplain doesn’t carry a weapon.”  

That type of comment brings fear to the forefront and makes it hard to focus on the Lord’s promises for strength and comfort, Liz laments.  “The truth is, we pray hard for everyone’s safe return, but we know there will be some that will not come home.” 

A ‘Just War’
When asked his personal feelings about the issues of whether Christians should be involved in war, and whether he believes a war with Iraq is justified, Nowland answered, “I believe in what is known as the “Just War Theory,” and I share it with our soldiers. I believe under the circumstances and guidelines contained in that theory, a country is definitely justified in going to war. (See “A Just War” below.) 

“With the current deployment, I have a lot of soldiers of predominant faiths coming to me and asking, ‘What about me going to war and killing enemy soldiers?’ I tell them I believe we are justified biblically in doing that because there is evil in this world, and Saddam Hussein is one of the most evil.

“I personally believe we should have dealt with him a long time ago. And if we continue to do this song and dance with the [weapons] inspections, and do the song and dance with all the diplomatic efforts we’ve tried, I think we could possibly be facing more and more terrorist threats. This guy is a bad guy. He even gassed his own people. He’s a deceiver, and he’s evil, and I think we have a biblical mandate to deal with him.”

Nowland’s voice softens as he mentions his family. 

“You know, I have three little children, and all I have to do is think about the terrible things that are happening in this world and I become afraid for their future. I believe God has given us a duty to defend our families and our nation. If we go to war with Iraq, I won’t perceive it as murdering people; I believe we will be defending the interests of America and the interests of our families. So I support our soldiers 110%.

“There’s one thing people need to realize, though,” he continues, “and that is, war is not a video game. I’ve seen people die (in the Gulf War), and even though we perceive those on the ‘other side’ as our enemies, they’re still a human life. They are valuable in God’s eyes. They are somebody’s husband, somebody’s son. When that round leaves the weapon on its way to taking away a person’s life, that is very, very serious business. So in my view, war should be the very last option. And in this case, I believe it’s the right thing.”

Learning to cope
While Captain Nowland is working 12-to-14-hour days preparing for deployment, Liz has her own struggles. The thought of being alone and having to deal with the everyday problems of life has been unnerving, she says – especially in light of Shelby’s illness and his profound anxiety at his father going away. 

“Shelby had his first epileptic seizure last Halloween night, and we had to rush him by ambulance to the hospital,” explains Liz. “Just the thought of trying to handle something like that by myself is nerve-racking. The longest Aaron’s been gone is three months, and that was hard on all of us. Our little girl, Abby, is pretty easy-going, and she made it okay for a few weeks. But after that, she just had a complete breakdown. She kept sobbing, ‘I’m my daddy’s little girl.’ And then to think of Aaron missing our newborn’s first year of life ... it’s just so hard.”

But in spite of her personal trials, Liz offers ongoing encouragement and support to the wives of the other soldiers in the battalion through her position as Family Readiness group leader. As such, she strives to help the other families prepare for their loved one’s deployment, because it’s such a trying time for everyone.

“It’s at this time that a lot of wives decide, ‘Oh, I’m tired of being a military wife,’ and they just leave. Others decide they’re going to leave their children. And some whose husbands are already overseas decide they’re going to ask for a divorce. So the husband has to deal with that as well as defending his country.”

Liz says the thing she relies on most to give her the personal strength she needs to cope with her own fears, as well as the ability to help others, is lots and lots of prayer. And although she plans to go to her parents’ home in Terrell, Texas, for an occasional “mental break” after the deployment, Liz will continue her support of the spouses remaining at the base.

When asked what encouragement she might offer to those being left behind, Liz gave this advice: “Remember while your spouse is gone that you still have to take time for yourself. You will be so involved with the kids and trying to take care of everything that your tendency will be to sacrifice yourself and your needs. 

“So have a quiet time every day that is yours alone. And remember, it’s okay to be upset and aggravated and worn out. It’s okay to cry.”

Do what matters
The whole issue of not knowing if or when they would be deployed, followed by the reality of leaving family behind, has been equally distressing to the enlisted men and women in his care, says Captain Nowland. And now that orders have been issued and they await the day of departure, he believes the remaining hours should be spent doing what matters.

“Yesterday, I had ‘one of those days,’ and I told Liz, ‘Let’s go to the park.’ We had a great time with our kids. Just being with my family is so important to me. I’ve found out over the last couple of months that some of the things that used to pester me really don’t amount to a hill of beans. 

“You know, I’m not too worried if the room’s not picked up anymore if I can just be with my family.”

“It’s also very important to get your finances in order and your wills prepared before you go,” he remarks. “Don’t avoid these things; do them. And spend every day at home that you can.” 

Thanks to AFA
“I want to express my deep appreciation to the thousands of AFA supporters who have sent letters, pictures and religious materials to our troops,” concludes Captain Nowland. “They have been a very big encouragement to all. I hear every day from people in Afghanistan and Kuwait and other places, just saying ‘Thank you.’ I know a lot of the soldiers never took the time to write, but I know personally that they appreciate it.

“Also, the U.S. Army badly needs some spiritually-led, God-called chaplains. We’re about 200 short, so if anyone is interested in serving the Lord in a unique way, please have them contact me or their local denomination.  

“Please keep us in your prayers. Remember the families; these are difficult times. But most of all, remember that God is still in control.”  

A Just War
For centuries Christians have wrestled with the morality of their involvement in war. How can those who follow the Prince of Peace rightly use deadly force? On the other hand, how can believers fail to defend those who need our help?

Though many views have been offered ranging from pacifism to full participation, the dominant view of Christendom is rooted in the writing of revered Church Fathers, including Augustine, Thomas Aquinas, and John Calvin. The principles that have evolved are known as the Just War Theory, and serve as a guide to determine 1) when a war is just, and 2) how a just war should be fought.

The following is a summary from the book When God Says War Is Right by Dr. Darrell Cole, assistant professor of religion at Drew University. The first part deals with the question of when to fight.

1. Proper authority – A just war is declared only by a legitimate government, the sovereign authority of the land.
2. Just cause – A just war is waged only against those who “deserve to be attacked on account of some wrong that they have done.” Such justification includes “self-defense against an aggressor, restoring what has been unjustly seized, avenging wrongs and punishing an unjust nation.” 
3. Right intention – In a just war, force is used “to advance the good and to avoid evil. … Right intention also means a war must have clear aims. Examples of right intention include “to secure peace, to punish those who perpetrate evil on the innocent or to uplift the good.” Keeping oil prices low or plundering a nation are examples of wrong intention.
4. The only way to right the wrong –  “Because warfare brings such human suffering, we should try to right wrongs by means other than warfare if we can.”
5. Reasonable hope of success – Because of the great suffering that war brings, a just war must have a chance of succeeding.

The overarching principle for how a just war is fought is that “we never do evil that good might come.” The ethical principles cited by Cole are: 

1. Discrimination or noncombatant immunity – “No innocent people are targeted intentionally.”
2. Intention – This principle probes the strategic intention of a particular act or acts in a war. For example, if a bombing raid in the middle of a city is intended to destroy supply lines and demoralize the enemy by causing civilian deaths, this violates the criterion of intention.
3. Proportion – This principle asks if an act brings about more evil than good. For example, will the good intended by a bombing mission aimed at0 destroying enemy supply lines be outweighed by the evil it causes in innocent deaths?

Recommended resources for a greater understanding of a Christian view of war and the Just War Theory:

• When God Says War Is Right, by Darrell Cole, WaterBrook Press
• “Good Wars,” by Darrell Cole www.firstthings.com
•  “Onward Christian Soldiers? Christian Perspectives on War,” by Timothy J. Demy, Th.D., Commander, Chaplain Corps, U.S. Navy, www.leaderu.com/humanities/demy.html
• “Just War Theory,” by Alex Moseley, Ph.D.
• “Can War Be Justified?” by J. Budziszewski