By Tina Miller*

August 2006 – When people ask me, “How long have you been home schooling,” my usual reply is, “13 years.” If I were to be completely accurate, I would probably answer, “Since the birth of my first child.” After all, home schooling is more than one on a list of educational options; it’s a lifestyle that goes far beyond teaching the three R’s – Reading, wRiting and aRithmetic. It is a way of life that is invigorating and rewarding, yet draining and frustrating.

Without a doubt, it involves sacrifice and impacts every area of life, including, but not limited to, the physical, emotional, social, leisure, relational, financial, and domestic aspects. 

I like the way Clay and Sally Clarkson put it in their wonderful book, Educating the Wholehearted Child: “Home education is not something you fit into your calendar, or make room for in your schedule. It is a commitment you make to God and to your family that will require perseverance, energy and patience. You cannot buy a home schooling kit that will make you instantly and easily successful. It is a long term, learning process, both for you and for your children.” 

In other words, it requires a prayerful contemplation and deliberate commitment before God.

A scriptural basis
Realizing the seriousness of such a decision, you may ask, “So why home educate?” I suppose there are as many reasons as there are home schooling families. But for Christian parents, the foundational motivation is the belief that this is the best way for us to fulfill the stewardship God has entrusted to us – raising our children in the training and instruction of the Lord. It allows us to ensure that that training is consistent and continuous (as directed in Deuteronomy 6:4-10), to protect them from character-corrupting influences of “bad company” (1 Corinthians 15:33), and to prevent them from becoming spiritually, emotionally, and socially “yoked to unbelievers” (2 Corinthians 6:14). It allows us to make sure that our children are not under the influence of false teaching but instead, under teaching that fills their minds with God’s truth and enables them to learn to use that truth in everyday situations.

These fundamental reasons can be expanded into more areas, such as relationships and academics. The practicality of spending every day in each other’s company is a way of knitting our family’s hearts together. This can be seen on each relational level within the home. 

You may feel, “I could never spend all day with my kids; we would drive each other crazy!” Be encouraged! Jesus taught us that where our treasure is, there our hearts will be also (Matthew 6:21). My testimony is that the investment of the “treasure” of my time and energy into my children causes my affection for them to grow. (OK, I admit to sometimes being wearied by my brood and even being known to say, “My name is not Mom today.” But that is not the general rule.) The gift of self that I give my children in turn draws them to me. It is my joy to be their #1 confidante. 

When our children give most of their time and energy to others, we lose a part of their affections. There will be a time when those affections and loyalties will expand, but a child’s heart best belongs to the family in which God has placed him so that he is most open to the teaching we have to give.

A qualified parent
But is familial love enough to qualify parents as teachers? Some people question their qualifications to home educate. They feel the necessity to have a degree or some experience behind them. But the fact is, there is no other teacher who can know my child like I do; no one who can care more about him/her; no one is willing to invest as deeply in his/her success.

These are the important factors involved in determining whether or not parents are capable of teaching their own children. Academic background is secondary. Anyone able to read can direct a child through a scholastic curriculum. It is love and commitment that make the home environment unique. Besides, home schooling provides the opportunity for utilizing the most effective teaching method – a one-to-one teacher/student ratio. 

A beneficial endeavor
Individuality is one of the greatest blessings of home learning. Children can progress at their own pace (or at that of Mom and Dad if a little prodding is needed) in each area, and curriculum can be tailored to the interests and learning style of each child. 

For example, I have a daughter who calls herself a “balletomane” (Take a guess at the definition.) whose high school program includes French, classical music appreciation, ballet pedagogy, and ballet physical education (P.E.) credits.

Such individual styling can happen in the lower grades, as well. Does your family love gardening? horses? computers? the Civil War? Delve into your subject as deeply as you desire. Read the literature surrounding it. Study its science. Take field trips. Draw it. Write about it. Fall in love with learning. Home schooling allows for it all.

I offer one more reason, one more benefit, to keep children home – socialization. Yes, you read that correctly. I alluded to this earlier when I mentioned protecting them from negative influences. I quote again from Educating the Wholehearted Child, “In the home school, the primary models for effective relationships are adults – father, mother, grandparents, family friends. This kind of age-integrated socialization simply does not take place in [an institutional] school where the models are primarily other … immature children. … In the home, in contrast, social skills are constantly and consistently modeled, trained, and corrected. Poor social skills are not allowed to become habituated, and good ones are regularly reinforced.”

May I boast a little in what the grace of God has allowed in our lives? I have had many years to observe the relational skills of home schoolers, my own as well as countless others. I have heard many people outside home school circles marvel at the ability of my children and their friends to enjoy and relate to people of all ages: to carry on a meaningful conversation with adults, to understand the needs of little ones and their parents and to be willing to help meet those needs when possible, to become involved in projects with people outside their own age group and to handle leadership opportunities. That is not to say that every home-schooled child is an extrovert. Their personalities are varied, but overall, they possess the confidence produced by a developmental environment that is loving and non-competitive and where acceptance is based on unconditional love (not clothes, possessions, appearance or athletic ability).

There are plenty of opportunities for our children to be involved in beneficial outside activities. There are church and ministry programs, scouts, athletic teams, various lessons, educational co-ops, support groups, library and museum programs, and scores more than I have room to mention. Most families participate in at least one of these. In fact, in our culture today, the struggle is sometimes more to stay focused on what we are striving to achieve at home than lack of social opportunity.

So, can you be a home educator? Research the Scriptural principles involved, count the cost to your entire family, weigh the benefits and be in agreement with your spouse. Then if this is God’s will for you, I answer, “You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.” You will not be alone!  

* Tina Miller and David, her husband of 21 years, live in Cincinnati, Ohio, with their six children who range in age from 5 to 18. In addition to being a wife, mother, and teacher who enjoys scrapbooking and reading, Tina spends her time as a chauffeur, fashion consultant, event planner, and back scratcher.

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Home schooling: ready, set, go By Tina Miller
• Write down your reasons for doing this, adding Scripture where you can. 
• Determine your goals. What is the most important thing God is leading you to teach your children this year? Decide what’s important and focus on that while realizing that your goals will change as you adjust to your new lifestyle.
• Discover your child’s learning style. Is it visual, auditory, kinesthetic? 
• Come to a basic understanding of the various teaching approaches. Decide which one best fits your personality, your children’s learning styles, and your family’s way of life. Limit yourself to discussing curriculum with other people who use this approach and to looking at resources geared to your view. A great resource is the Elijah Company catalog.
• Plan a tentative routine and schedule.
• Apply what you’ve done in steps one through five. Make a list of subjects you plan to teach this year with your favorite resources for each subject in each grade beside it. Determine your budget. Find the best prices for those resources and order. When you receive your books, look over them and make out a few weeks worth of lesson plans.
• Be flexible. If you get started and something isn’t working, decide what the problem is, and be willing to make the necessary changes. If your children do not have obedient, respectful attitudes, that is your first area of concern to be addressed.