January 2009 – Mom’s prayer for son changes both
By Cherry Sims, AFA staff member
One of my favorite family memories is that of seeing our older son in his red Superman cape and his cowboy boots dancing his own choreographed version of an Ella Fitzgerald tune as it spun on his record player. As a little tyke, he reminded me of a sweet, wise little man. He was always happy and content. He loved everyone and made friends from all generations of people. What potential we saw in him.
I was completely unaware when our sons were born that I subconsciously set an agenda for each of them. This agenda included expectations of how they should behave, what kind of grades they would make, how they would act when they hit the teen years and what their future would be – spiritual giants doing great things for God.
At first blush, I thought Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it” meant that I had to decide the direction for my children. Later on, I came to realize this verse takes into consideration the uniqueness of each individual guided by proper Biblical instruction and Godly direction.
Very early, our son developed a love for performance and as a preschooler participated in youth musicals his minister of music dad directed. He performed in plays and sang in auditioned groups and choirs throughout his school and church life. So, why were we so surprised when he changed his major in college from church music to musical theater? See, there’s that agenda thing again.
While we thought he was preparing for the ministry, he had other ideas and dreams. Dreams that often led him down the broad paths of the world. He, in his struggle to become his own man, distanced himself from us. And we, in our perplexed and concerned state, probably did little to convince him that, even as he followed his interests and made his mistakes, we loved him unconditionally.
Many times I prayed and cried to the Lord to bring my son back home, back to his faith. During those years I was encouraged by the trust my husband displayed in God’s faithfulness. The faith of another strong prayer warrior and encourager, Lena Rogers Leach, brought me nearer to the place God wanted me to be. I knew her through Margaret Jensen’s book, Lena. Her words to Margaret, who struggled with a wayward son, helped seal my resolve to put my son completely into the hands of the Father.
Be anxious for nothing, Sister Jensen, and don’t be fretting about the day God answers. He done answered, but it take time to get the answer through … the begging and pleading be done in heaven. God get so tired of all that begging when He tells us over and over, ‘It is finished!’ Why we beg more than we believe?
The truth of 2 Corinthians 1:4 (ESV) became applicable in my life: “(God) who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”
I have had many opportunities to share what the Lord taught me (during the time of my son’s sojourn in the far country) with other mothers and fathers who are experiencing the heartache of wayward children. God taught me several important principles during the years of my son’s journey:
▶ Respect your child’s God-given traits and be aware of your own agenda for his or her life.
▶ Allow your child to leave the nest and fly into the world.
▶ Pray, recognizing the Holy Spirit’s intercession and translation of the very groans of your heart.
▶ Love your child as God the Father loves you – unconditionally.
▶ Allow God to work in His time.
▶ Realize that God has your child’s ultimate salvation in mind and that in praying for his or her return you are praying in God’s will.
▶ Read the Word and faith-building books.
▶ Keep a prayer journal so you can note God’s answers to your prayers.
Learning those principles took time. Time for our son to grow, suffer, learn, and mature; time for us to grow, suffer, learn and mature! When we began to be more like the Father, we no longer looked at his journey in the same way.
So we left the porch light on, the welcome mat out, and the door to home wide open. And we began looking for his return. In His faithfulness, God brought our son back fully restored into our lives and to his spiritual roots.
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A wife’s cry for husband not in vain
By Amy D. Gray, freelance writer and teacher in Lawrenceburg, Tennessee
My husband and I met in November 1987 and married eight months later. Last August, we celebrated our 20th anniversary.
God truly blessed me with a wonderful man, whom I love passionately. He is my protector, my provider, my helpmate, my lover, my friend. He is the epitome of a hero, and he is the greatest blessing, next to salvation, that God has ever given to me.
That is why it grieved my soul to learn early in our marriage that he did not possess a personal relationship with Jesus. Having been raised in church, he believed Him to be the Son of God. However, he had not invited the Savior into his heart.
From that point on, I spent countless days on my knees crying out to God. It has not been easy, but like James, I count it joy to have labored in prayer, beseeching God to save my beloved from damnation (1:2).
Throughout our life together, my husband has worked tirelessly providing for our family, never complaining nor shirking his responsibilities. Never doubting his love for me, each night when I closed my eyes, I begged God to let him live long enough to accept the free gift of salvation.
Many nights, I lay with my right hand on his chest, and with every breath that he took, I prayed for his lost soul. No matter how strong our love was, I knew it could not save him from an eternity in hell.
The fear of my husband suffering for eternity began to consume my every thought. Desperately, I prayed for God to take my life if necessary, in order to bring him to repentance. I wept often. Believing Isaiah when he said those who wait on the Lord shall not be weary (40:31), I pressed on with urgency. Praying fervently for God to move in his life, I waited and waited.
Waiting wears on a person’s soul, but looking back, I am humbled by the lessons that I learned walking through those valleys. Lessons that had my heart not been burdened for my husband’s salvation, I would have tragically missed.
Pouring daily over the Scriptures, I learned that preaching or nagging him to go to church, where he could hear the Word, was useless. Instead, I latched on to 1 Peter 3:1, where the Bible says that husbands are won by the conduct of the wives, not by the endless chatter that comes from the mouth.
The way to pray
For years, my prayer had gone something like, “God, please change my husband into the man I need him to be.” Through self-righteous tears, I prayed for the love of my life; self-righteousness is a dangerous and grave mistake.
Finally, I came to a point where I did not know what to pray. It seemed I could only cry out, “God, please forgive him for denying Your Son.” Slowly, I began to truly believe what the Bible says in Romans 8:26 that the Spirit helps in our weakness. For by His prompting, my prayers began to change.
Asking God to make me into the godly woman that He intended for me to be, I began listening to Him instead of telling Him what I wanted. He gently whispered to me, “My child, love Me with all your heart, mind, and soul; and trust Me with your beloved. Salvation is not up to you.” Divine timing is not ignited by selfish requests. It is fueled by intercessory prayer.
Monthly, almost weekly, I was drawn to the altar of forgiveness to beg God’s mercy on my beloved’s soul. Through perseverance and the unceasing prayers of my church, my family, and my friends, I learned that there is tremendous power when God’s people pray. As time evolved, I began to look at my husband through the eyes of Jesus, instead of my judgmental gaze. I began to pray with faith and to live with obedience, trusting God.
Very few things grieve a wife’s soul like the lostness of an unbelieving spouse. Without my relationship with Jesus, many times, I would have given up. Because of the strength I found in Him, I persevered and prayerfully interceded on my husband’s behalf. An eternity of torture no longer lurks in his future, only eternal bliss. Nineteen years after my first prayer for his salvation, he accepted Jesus as Lord. Seeing the peace that now surrounds him, the wait was worth every tear. 
