Joy W. Lucius

Guest writer

July/August 2014 – The kids are grown. The bank account has some reserve. Retirement is here. It’s time to relax and take that dream vacation without kids or grandkids. After all, an empty nest means a well-deserved freedom from the stress of parenting. Check it off the list: Motherhood – completed! 

But wait! Author Rhonda Stoppe begs to differ. In her book Moms Raising Sons to Be Men, Stoppe says motherhood doesn’t end when the proverbial final bird leaves the nest. For Stoppe, the end of active parenting segues beautifully into mentoring younger mothers. In a recent interview with AFA Journal, she passionately reminded mature Christian women that the role of mentor is not optional according to Titus 2, which instructs older women to pass the baton to their younger counterparts by teaching them to be godly mothers.

Therein lies the challenge for women contemplating their duty to mentor young mothers. According to Stoppe, a seasoned pastor’s wife and mother of four, women may not view their motherhood as a successful endeavor. Their kids are grown, but these “retired” moms often have nasty battle scars from their years of parenting. 

Those scars are precisely what Stoppe believes modern mothers need to see. She believes true wisdom comes from experience, and such wisdom is critical today as fatherless homes increase significantly. Research backs Stoppe’s beliefs. According to Irreplaceable, a recent documentary film from Focus on the Family, fatherless children comprise more than two-thirds of school dropouts, teen pregnancies, behavioral disorders, runaways, youth suicides and imprisoned teens.

Those shocking statistics should end the complacency of Christian women who feel inconvenienced by the Titus mentoring mandate echoed in Stoppe’s book. Those stats alone call Christian women everywhere to mentor younger mothers. 

First of all, Stoppe suggests becoming a personal mentor to a local mother. Look around, but let God guide as to which mom needs personal mentoring. “Be a friend,” admonishes Stoppe, but “give unemotional advice” grounded in Scripture, to ensure right decisions with right motivations.

Stoppe also encourages mentors to establish small groups, through Sunday School classes or book clubs perhaps. But she cautions mentors to define the group time by enforcing set parameters, thus ensuring group productivity. She suggests studying and discussing a biblically-based resource. 

Finally, Stoppe urges women to look for mentoring opportunities everywhere, by offering to buy a cup of tea, babysit for a mother in need of rest, or buy a good book and give it away. Especially in the case of sensitive in-law relationships, Stoppe believes Christian parenting books can kindle a mentoring connection.

Stoppe encourages prospective mentors to study accounts of great Christian mothers from the past. For example, in her book, she highlights Mary, mother of Jesus; Jochebed, mother of Moses; Susannah Wesley, mother of John Wesley, and others. Such solid examples of Christian motherhood can enhance personal or group mentoring.

In Moms Raising Sons to Be Men, Stoppe testifies of her own parenting journey. As a stressed-out young mother, she cried out to God and was sent out to mentor other struggling mothers. She simply answered that God-given mommy mandate by sharing what God taught her along the way. In doing so, she has become a mentor to young mothers through the pages of her books as well as the pages of her life.  

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men (Harvest House) is available online at NoRegretsWoman.com