By Michael DuRocher*

March 2000 – My life changed drastically, once again, about two years ago. My wife told me that she was pregnant. With the four kids growing up, we looked forward to the day when we could spend time together.

We were devastated. Shocked and upset. At the age of 44, I did not want to change diapers and warm bottles again. My wife was heartsick. The pain and energy to have another child is beyond any man’s comprehension.

We discussed abortion. We had very mixed emotions about abortion. For weeks, we tugged at the issue. We should. We cannot. We need to. What about the other kids? What about the expenses? What about child care?

We were overwhelmed.

What an agonizing decision and painful road to venture. It was not that clear-cut for us. I called Planned Parenthood to get information. Still, we were undecided. Again, back and forth. One day I said, “Honey, we need to make a decision. We need to make a decision and never look back.” Somewhere deep, deep down inside we knew we were in conflict because the moral law written in our hearts knew differently.

A few days later she called me and said she could not have an abortion. It is not our decision, she said. We cannot destroy the life of a child for reasons of economics and inconvenience. It is not the baby’s fault. We cannot end this pregnancy because it is a burden on us. It is just simply wrong. The child has a right to be born. I said OK.

The time came to have the child. It was a beautiful little girl. As the weeks and the months went by, I sat with this gorgeous blue-eyed, blond-haired little girl grasping at life. To eat. To sneeze with food in her Pro-life Issues Please forgive us for considering an abo mouth. To grab her blanket and dig her face into it when she’s tired. Rubbing her eyes when she is sleepy. Peeking around the corner of her crib when I am coming up the stairs. Pulling on my pant legs when she wants me to pick her up. A tear running down her cheek when she stumbles while trying to walk. Patting me on the back when she is content.

We cannot help but look back and examine what we had almost done.

I am now convinced that abortion is not a choice and should never have been.

Yes, it is hard to manage all this but it is not our decision as human beings to destroy the life of a child. And that fetus is a child. I am now convinced that this is an evil choice that has been marketed upon society by our politicians and the marketing department over at Planned Parenthood and that they have fostered this notion that this “blob of tissue” is not a life. It is not about choice to them; it is about money.

Every time we look into the eyes of our little girl we feel a surge of guilt that we both are having a very, very difficult time dealing with, guilt that we had the power to decide if this child lived or not. Neither of us can envision life without her.

I also asked those who support abortion to explain to us how we can handle this guilt because they are the ones who had offered this choice.

How do you suggest that those who have gone down this road deal with this sort of condemnation?

Supporters of abortion have wreaked havoc on the emotions of society and to us it seems that it is against the law of nature for a female to abort her offspring.

I am not writing this for a political statement, but as a letter to all those who may be faced with this decision. Let your heart guide you. Children are so precious and are the shining light of our future.

By the grace of God may we be forgiven for a wrong that we almost committed.

Please forgive us, Jennifer. Your mother and I dearly love you.   

*Michael DuRocher is a mortgage underwriter in Lansing, Illinois. His article originally appeared in the The Times of Northwest Indiana. It is reprinted with permission