Teddy James
AFA Journal staff writer
October 2010 – Jonathan was the pastor of a New England church for 23 years. Throughout his tenure, he experienced numerous power struggles, the rejection of church discipline and arguments over his visitation policy. Jonathan felt his gift and responsibility were primarily found in studying Scripture and being the best teacher he could be. The final straw came over a controversy regarding membership requirements. The former pastor had implemented a very loose policy that said anyone who wanted to join the church could, no questions asked.
Before the dust settled from the inevitable fight, Jonathan was fired. The 46-year-old pastor was now unemployed and despised by the entire community. Over the next 10 years, one of Jonathan’s greatest detractors admitted that his own pride, self-sufficiency, ambition and vanity had caused the problems. Because of the humility and grace Jonathan offered to those who caused him such harm, 150 years after the firing, the church publicly repented for sending the great preacher Jonathan Edwards out the door. That story is recounted in 5 Ministry Killers and How to Defeat Them by Charles Stone.
Best and worst of times
A recent study conducted by the Southern Baptist Convention’s North American Mission Board revealed the average pastor’s tenure in the SBC is five years. The same study discovered most people believe their best years of ministry in a church occur between years five and fourteen. So why are so many leaving before the most productive time? Is there anything a congregation can do to help a pastor stay longer? AFA Journal talked with Deepak Reju, associate pastor of Capitol Hill Baptist Church in Washington, D.C. He is also part of the ministry 9Marks. 9Marks focuses on tending to pastors of congregations large and small. Reju believes one of the hardest aspects of being a pastor is the stress.
“In a sense, the small-town pastor is always on,” Reju said. “Apart from getting a vacation for one week out of the year, the pastor probably never gets a break. When a funeral happens, a wedding takes place or a marriage falls apart, the pastor takes those tasks on a daily basis; it is constant pressure.
“You also have to consider the reality of sin as it hits even small churches. No matter where you are, you are going to have weaker sheep and those weak sheep need to be tended. That in itself translates to stress in the life of a pastor.”
While every job carries some stress, the stress a pastor experiences is different. Reju used the idea from the New Testament that the pastor is a shepherd and the congregation are sheep. He said, “There is a difference between the stress the sheep go through and the stress the shepherd goes through. The shepherd is responsible for preserving and protecting the flock. Even the most ignorant sheep who wander into the worst of places bringing harm to themselves probably don’t know the reality of what it took for the shepherd to preserve their lives.”
H.B. London Jr. and Neil B. Wiseman’s 2003 book titled Pastors at Greater Risk contains very telling statistics about the lives of pastors. According to the book, 90% of pastors work more than 46 hours a week. Eighty percent feel the pastoral ministry has negatively affected their own families.
Sharing the load
There are many things a congregation can do to help its pastor shoulder the responsibility of his call.
First, Reju said, congregants encourage their pastor when they obey the leadership of the church as commanded in Hebrews 13:17 – “Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you” (NIV).
Reju explained that obedience not only makes a pastor’s labor joyous, it also demonstrates that the lives of the congregants are being conformed according to the Scripture he is preaching.
Second, Reju said, churches should create an atmosphere in the church in which the pastor isn’t embarrassed to be honest about his struggles.
“The church in which the pastor isn’t fearful he is going to lose his job if he doesn’t appear strong is a spiritually mature church. That is a church where the pastor can show he is a human being and needs the Gospel just as badly as everyone else.”
Is the church mature enough to allow the pastor to minister the way God leads him and at the same time minister to him? Does the church trust its laity enough to give the pastor a two or three week sabbatical?
Speaking of his own church, Reju said, “We at Capital Hill Baptist Church are a big fan of the plurality of elders and not the CEO model of the pastor. Practically speaking, that allows you to spread the weight. In my most crucial aspect, there is also a lay elder who is a full-time paid man outside the church who is heavily invested in our church. If I get hit by a car tomorrow, I know there is someone there to effectually care in my place.”
Church members must also examine their expectations for their pastor. Many congregants expect their pastor to make personal visits to the hospital, make personal phone calls, pray personally with and for everyone, and still have time to study and preach weekly. But what are those same people in the church willing to personally do for the pastor? 1 Thessalonians 5:12-13 says, “And now, friends, we ask you to honor those leaders who work so hard for you, who have been given the responsibility of urging and guiding you along in your obedience. Overwhelm them with appreciation and love” (The Message).
Rubber meets the road
Reju suggests some very simple and practical ideas. “Don’t just make him a pulpiteer, make him your friend. Be a part of his life, and his family’s life, so they are able to let you into their lives. Pour into the kids and show them affection,” he said.
When asked if he had someone close he could confide in and talk to about his stress and problems, one local pastor said his closest friend lives four states away, and there is no one in his church he can talk to.
If you want to be a friend to your pastor, how do you start that relationship? “A number of pastors have told me they cannot remember the last time someone invited them over for dinner,” Reju said. “They always host people in their own home, but the blessing is never reciprocated.”
Other ideas include offering to babysit his children so he and his wife can go on a date night, buying a gift card to a nice restaurant they aren’t able to afford, or if you have a time share giving some days to the pastor’s family so they can enjoy an inexpensive vacation.
But there are ways you can make the pastor’s job less stressful without costing you anything. You can offer to clean the church, run the bulletin, come early to turn the air or heat on or write an encouraging note to him highlighting how God has used him to impact your life.
One of the most encouraging things a person can do for a pastor’s ministry is to engage him about his sermons. Ask him questions about it. Read and study his sermon text before you come into church and then dialogue with him about it during the week. Just asking him what text he is preparing is an encouragement, “He will probably fall over if someone asked him that question,” Reju said.
Few things will encourage a pastor more than praying for and with him. Let him know you are praying for him. Pull him off to the side and ask him privately or through e-mail how you can specifically pray for him and his family. Many times, it is through prayer that God will give you specific ways you can personally come alongside your minister.
While the role of pastor is stressful and, at many times, intimidating, it is also a life of blessing. The study cited above found that 80% of those in ministry feel it has negatively affected their families, but 86% would still choose a life in ministry if they had to do it all over again. Ninety-one percent feel very satisfied about being in ministry and 75% want to stay in the ministry.
Jesus once told Peter to feed and care for the sheep. Is He calling you today to feed and care for the shepherd? 
Pastor retreats, conferences
There are times a pastor and his family need to be alone. Pastors Retreat Network, a ministry founded in 1997, offers five-day retreats. The network has housing in Wisconsin, Ohio and Texas. The retreat experience is focused on giving a pastor uninterrupted time with God and with his wife. There are also opportunities for him to meet other pastors.
A Google search of “minister’s retreats” will yield a variety of facilities from all-inclusive resorts to primitive campsites in the mountains.Know what your pastor would like and offer to send him and his family there.
Many pastors’ conferences are available, e.g. Together for the Gospel. T4G began as four pastor friends who wanted to offer something for other pastors to encourage them to stand together for the Gospel. The bi-annual conference has highlighted well-known preachers such as Mark Dever of 9Marks, Matt Chandler, Al Mohler and John McArthur.
The Christian Hospitality Network has a directory of bed and breakfast inns that offer discounted rates for pastors for their personal get-aways.
For more information:
www.t4g.org
www.christianhospitalitynetwork.org
