Teddy James

AFA Journal staff writer

January 2013 – What’s the most difficult New Year’s resolution to keep? To lose weight? To watch less TV and exercise more? To get out of debt? To read the Bible in a year? What about being more honest – or more gracious – with your words?

Never would have thought about that last one? Most of us wouldn’t, according to Paul David Tripp. In his book The Power of Words and the Wonder of God, Tripp wrote, “All of us are tricked into thinking that words aren’t really that important because they fill all those little mundane moments of our lives.” Tripp said we look at words as only a means of communication, seldom weighing the importance of how the sounds from our lips shape our world and change lives.

But in the Bible, God clearly says words are important and tells His followers to weigh every one they speak (Matthew 12:36). It would seem that He not only cares about our choice of words, but, more importantly, their truthfulness and the motive behind them.

Words of truth
Speaking truth is of such importance to God that He included it in the Ten Commandments. But compare God’s attitude toward honesty with culture’s. For example, everyone knows advertisements contain embellishments, unsubstantiated claims and half-truths; news anchors often present the parts of a story that support personal bias; and politicians warp the truth to give themselves political advantage.

Being consistently honest in this culture would be revolutionary. In fact, scientists believe consistent honesty might be impossible. University of Massachusetts researcher Robert Feldman and his team asked several pairs of strangers to talk for 10 minutes. The conversations were recorded and each subject was asked to review the tape. Before showing the footage, researchers asked each participate if they were completely honest. Every person said yes. But once the tape began to roll, every person confessed to saying something dishonest. In fact, the study showed subjects told an average of 2.92 lies per conversation.

Researchers concluded that the motive for lying was either 1) to get what we want; 2) to get or stay out of trouble; 3) to impress who we are talking with and/or 4) to avoid confrontation. All of these things, although parents teach children not to do them, are largely seen as culturally acceptable.

In all the places where culture and Scripture collide, there are few where the two are more diametrically opposed than on the issue of honesty.

So making a New Year’s resolution to be honest would be difficult because it goes against our selfish nature.

But even if a person could be honest in all he says, never embellishing the truth, there is the issue of saying the right thing in the wrong way or with the wrong attitude.

Words of grace
In an interview with AFA Journal, John Franklin Howard, author of Say What? Understanding the Power of the Words We Speak, said, “Much of the public discourse of today seems attack oriented. There is a great need for truth spoken with words of grace. Colossians 4:5-6 says, ‘Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let our conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.’ Christians are called to speak God’s truth into contemporary culture and need to follow the direction of Scripture, speaking words full of grace, seasoned with salt. There is still great power in words of truth, spoken in grace. So much of what we say today is graceless. Christians engaged in public discourse could carve out a path rarely traveled by speaking grace-full words.”

The writer of James knew how difficult speaking words of grace and honesty was when he wrote that a man who speaks without stumbling is perfect (James 3:2). He was not implying that mastering the tongue would bring perfection of the soul. He was instead drawing a comparison between two impossibilities. Still, we are to speak truth with grace, honesty with humility.

When God gives the command to be honest and gracious in our words, could it be that He, as He often does in Scripture, is actually dealing with something much deeper?

The truth about truth and grace
It is ultimately impossible for us to be honest and gracious in everything coming from our lips. While honesty and grace may be some of God’s desired results, His ultimate concern is the source of our words. Jesus says in Matthew 15:18 that our words come from the overflow of our hearts.

We speak dishonesty because we have dishonest hearts. We speak graceless words because there is a severe lack of grace in our hearts. Both issues are not something that will be fixed with more effort, study or even if we made it a New Day’s resolution rather than a New Year’s resolution. The only way those issues will be dealt with is through the answering of a Psalm 51 prayer, “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.”

Tripp had more to say about our mundane words: “Maybe that’s why they are profoundly important. You live your life in the utterly mundane. And if God doesn’t rule your mundane, He doesn’t rule you.”

In 2013, let us give God everything from our exciting to our mundane. Let us look forward to a new year and prayerfully, new words springing forth from a newly created heart.  

Weighing our words in the new world
The internet is a wonderful tool in that it can help people communicate in ways never before dreamed. However, it can also be a tool of great destruction because it helps people communicate in ways never before dreamed.

Many people do not give their online words any more consideration than their spoken words. The truth is that both have substantial importance, but those written online can potentially be seen by anyone, forever. In today’s world, it is important not only to weigh the words coming from our lips, but also those coming from our fingertips.

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Words About Words
Say What? Understanding the Power of the Words We Speak by John Franklin Howard takes a look at the power held in what we choose to say. Our words can uplift and build up those around us or they can cut sharper than a samurai sword. Howard has been a United Methodist pastor for 28 years and uses many of his experiences to illustrate the power of the spoken word. The book is available at online bookstores.

The Power of Words and the Wonder of God edited by John Piper and Justin Taylor includes chapters by Paul David Tripp, John Piper, Bob Kauflin and others. Each chapter focuses on the importance of weighing our words and glorifying Christ with our mouths as well as our lives. The collection is available online and at local bookstores.