AFA Staff

AFA Journal staff reviews movies, books and other resources

Photo above: Rhonda Stoppe (middle row, third from left) and her pastor husband, Steve, have four married adult children, two sons and two daughters.  Photo: Estevan Atkinson

May 2015 – Part 1: By Joy Lucius
She’s there! Walk into any church in America and find her, wrinkled, tired, and running late. Nevertheless, this faithful mother is present whenever the church doors open, kids in tow. Who knows if there’s a dad at home – maybe, maybe not.

Moms, single or married, face many of the same challenges when it comes to the impact they have on their sons’ lives. Even married moms are too often the stronger spiritual leader in the home.

So, wouldn’t it seem probable that eventually such tenacious mothers would produce congregations full of faithful men?

Author Rhonda Stoppe (rhondastoppe.com) passionately believes it takes more than simply filling church pews each Sunday. First, she insists mothers must fill their own hearts with a deep, abiding love for Jesus in order to raise godly sons.

In a recent interview with AFA Journal, Stoppe encouraged mothers to get “back to the gospel” and maintain an authentic relationship with Christ. In her book Moms Raising Sons to be Men, she said this is the way to “live a life with no regrets.”

Stoppe uses personal experiences in her book, as well as historical and biblical accounts like the scriptural account of Timothy (raised by mother Eunice and grandmother Lois) as examples of successful mothering. Both Eunice and Lois profoundly impacted Timothy, and subsequently, his world-changing ministry. Stoppe insists that mothers can still have that same impact on their sons (and daughters) by taking a few tips from Timothy’s story.

The first useful tip in Timothy’s tale, according to Stoppe, is the fact that even though his mother Eunice sinfully married outside her faith, she still made sure to teach Timothy the truth of God’s Word. Likewise, Stoppe exhorts mothers to raise their sons to know the Scriptures and to know how to “rightly divide the word of truth” on their own. 

To do so, Stoppe thinks mothers must diligently put Scripture into their own hearts, imploring young moms to “not be lazy in feasting on the Word of Truth.” Stoppe believes God will reveal His trustworthy nature to mothers within those Scriptures – and within their children later in life. Stoppe is also adamant that mothers find older Christian women as personal mentors and advisors, much like the story of Eunice with her mother Lois.

Stoppe counsels all mothers to pray for and seek out godly male role models for their sons, since it’s imperative for boys to see how Christian men love God and their families. Obviously, a committed Christian dad is the ideal role model, but moms can make sure that sons are also in Sunday school or youth groups that have strong male leadership.

However, Stoppe cautions mothers against solely depending on these men (or the church) for their sons’ spiritual teaching. After all, nothing in a boy’s life can replace a lifetime of watching a mother walk daily with Christ.

Finally, Stoppe declares that women who don’t regularly pray for their children sin against God. She reminds women that pure, sinless hearts of righteousness produce prayers that God answers. And ultimately, those answered prayers will fill our churches with men who serve and honor God all their lives. Maybe even a 21st century Timothy.
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Rhonda Stoppe is the author of Moms Raising Sons to Be Men and If My Husband Would Change, I’d be Happy – And Other Myths Wives Believe, which is scheduled for release this summer. Her book on raising sons is available as a free download at NoRegretsWoman.com.

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Part 2: By Rebecca Davis
Mud-caked boots, footballs, scattered towels, shotgun shells, runny noses, wet beds, spontaneous hugs, and an aura of contentment – just a few signs that Careen Strange is a mother of boys. Five boys to be exact, and they are stair-steps in age.

Strange and her husband Burt, each an only child, were married three months when they found out they were expecting their first child. All five arrived within their first 10 years of marriage.

Managing such a large and active household, especially during the early years, was daunting and discouraging, and at times Strange felt downright defeated. That is until she realized God’s purpose for her life: to rear godly men, not just mother them. There is a difference.

“This is the revelation that changed my perspective on parenting. … Nothing was as important as developing their character and helping shape them into the persons God intended each of them to be,” she told AFA Journal.

It was not easy, and the Stranges were far from perfect parents. But when she recognized that her calling was to raise their boys in the “nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4), setting priorities became easier. Her purpose became clear.

“[W]ithout a relationship with the Lord and a reliance on Him, my family as well as my personal life would be a sad failure,” Strange said. “It was my dependence on the Lord that made our family successful.”

These days, things look different at the Strange house. The boots are clean, the towels hung up, and the beds dry. The five young boys are now men, three of them husbands and fathers. But at times, the Strange home is still full of children – nine grandchildren. The tenth one is expected to arrive in June.

While Strange remains active in her roles of wife, mother, and grandmother, she also devotes much of her time to counseling and mentoring young mothers who find themselves in the trenches of motherhood, where she was 45 years ago. Her basis for being a mentor is found in Titus 2:3-5 where older women are instructed to teach younger women to be honorable lovers of their husbands and children and keepers of the home.

Strange not only meets with mothers in person, but she reaches countless numbers through her book Hello! Young Mothers: A Peek Behind the Motherhood Curtain(Xulon Press, 2014).

Using a stage play as a metaphor, the book is divided into three acts, and each act is divided into scenes. The scenes are excerpts taken directly from Strange’s journals that she kept for about 18 years while raising her boys.

As a young mother, she longed for encouragement and guidance from an older woman who had successfully reared a family. Her journal writing became her outlet.

“I felt strongly impressed [by the Lord] to share with other young mothers my experiences in hopes of encouraging and inspiring them,” Strange said. “I set out to be that ‘older woman’ I looked for when our children were growing up.”

And that is exactly who Careen Strange has become.  

The family of Careen and Burt Strange (second and third from right) has grown to include daughters-in-law and granddaughters, as well as grandsons. In addition to being a wife, mother, grandmother, retired teacher, and mentor, Careen helps her husband manage their 1,500 acres in South Georgia as a place of retreat for those seeking escape from the stresses of life. They seek to bring restoration and refreshment to their guests through luxurious, rustic lodging and various activities. For more information: strangefarms.com, 404-819-5311.

Hello! Young Mothers by Careen Strange is available in print or as an eBook at online booksellers.