Stacy Long

AFA Journal staff writer

October 2017 – My nephew, five-year-old Eli, will hold his tablet out to me and say, “Look at my game; see what this guy does.” I’ve noticed that as I respond, the game is often quickly forgotten, and replaced by an entirely different conversation. On the other side, his seven-year-old brother sagely remarks, “I have my tablet game with me too, but I’m not getting it out because I’d rather talk to people.”

Children usually get a bad rap for having a short attention span. Especially in these days, parents are cautioned about the dangers of modern technology in eroding a child’s attention span.

However, children are not the only ones challenged in managing their use of technology. Often, it is the adults who are absorbed in their technology, even when their children are seeking attention. Ironically, young kids seem to put greater emphasis and value on human interaction. As I shared above, children are likely to show off their cool device in order to connect to adults in their lives.

The situation
A study in the journal Child Development, found that 40% of mothers and 32% of fathers confess they use technology in problematic ways. Examples were: distraction from interacting with a child, irritation at a child’s interruptions, and not being aware or following up on a child’s bad behavior. The intrusions from technological devices in parent-child dynamics were linked to anxiety, depression, hyperactivity, and disruptive behavior in children.

I have often been in a room of adults, when each person sat quietly invested in whatever was happening on his or her own small screen. The problem is that in the age of instant information, social media posts, and continuous updates, everything is made to seem vastly important. The newest update remains at the forefront only for a few moments before it is pushed out of sight by the next big thing.

In his new book Understanding the Culture, Christian apologist Jeff Myers quotes journalism professor John Sommerville: “[T]he twenty-four-hour news cycle actually makes us dumber because when everything seems urgent, it is difficult to distinguish what is really important.”

Our attention is limited, and so we piece it out stingily in tiny fractions for just a few seconds at a time. Unfortunately, our handheld devices are nearby with their alerts and dings and notifications lighting up the screen. And so they carry the day away by diverting our attention from what is uniquely present for each of us alone in favor of what seems of universal importance to the whole world.

Myers also quotes journalist Maggie Johnson, who said, “Nothing is more central to creating a flourishing society built upon learning, contentment, caring, morality, and spirit than attention. As humans we are formed to pay attention. Without it we simply would not survive.”

The solution
The task of learning to pay attention is a challenge we must master long after childhood. In the age of modern technology, paying attention only becomes harder and harder as the pace of life and the flood of new information picks up steam. And so we must assign ourselves the homework of paying attention.

In public places, even when alone, leave the cellphone out of sight and spend the time people-watching instead. People-watching revives the age- old art of picking up on those non-verbal cues that are so important in relationships.

Leave your phone on silent and on the shelf during evening hours or weekends at home. Whether on your own or with family, use those hours to focus on individual happenings, not the world’s business.

At the least, take a lesson from kids and consider how your media time might be shared with others. Watch a YouTube video with a friend or family member, or have fun discussing what you saw on Facebook. If you just have to post that significant event or awesome selfie, let your companions know why you’re pulling out your phone, and make it quick. Check up on all the notifications later.

Finally, indulge in the art of living fully in the present. The moments you have are uniquely yours and are unrecoverable. Take in the colors, the sounds, and the memories presented in live-action by the real world, not your screen’s glossy face. Concentrate on really living them to the fullest. You might discover you like it.